So, I guess it’s time to be honest about why I haven’t been writing as much.
Don’t get me wrong, I am writing. Journaling on my own, like I always have.
I’ve also been writing articles for different websites as well as essays for school.
But that’s not why I haven’t been writing here, sharing with you all what’s going on with my life like I normally do. I pride myself in being transparent with my description of life with Arthritis.
I don’t hide the nitty-gritty. The jaw-clenching physical pain, as well as the psychic pain I experience on a daily basis.
It’s much easier to do this in writing than it is in person. Overwhelmed by my desire to not let my symptoms overshadow my conversations with loved ones. I smile though my mind is on my knees because I’m genuinely happy to see them. I choose to be in the moment. The result is often me stumbling later from exceeding my boundaries in the hope to “help” wash the dishes. Very few recognize this meager out pour of sacrificial love. It’s all I have to give.
…I think I’ve been delaying exposing the truth by going underground…
I’m struggling with getting my treatments.
They are never on time and the costs are sky-rocketing.
I don’t know if I can keep going this way.
My studies are suffering due to the obscene amount of calls I make daily to the insurance company, the pharmacy, the doctor, various foundations…
Unfortunately I’m not becoming an expert, I’m simply getting sidelined by the lack of valuable information available.
Every truth is contradicted by another agent, another supervisor, another “expert”.
My pocketbook is empty, both by the amount of “minutes” I spend on these calls, as well as the costs of treatment.
It all came to a head yesterday when I received a payment notice of almost $500 for a medication I was previously told was $70. I was ordered to pay within 10 days, as if that were possible. The process of filing an appeal is 60 days.
This is just one on top of the other medical bills that have come through the mail. The amounts owed quickly climbing to $2,000.
If I could just get this, my most important treatment administered on time and at a reasonable price, I’d be relieved. This is the medication that has given me back my ability to walk. This is the medication that I’ve spent five years searching for. Five other treatments failed before trying this one.
This is the only one that works.