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RAConnection

There is something irrefutably amazing about being able to communicate across 
time zones and continents with fighters, survivors – exactly like me.
As you all probably know, right now, there are hundreds of articles expressing that Social Media (or the internet) is replacing our relationships. 

I’ll tell you this, as a 20-something-year-old disabled girl, I beg to differ.

Recently, I wrote a research paper for school discussing this very topic. Being that it was a formal paper, there were a lot of things I wasn’t able to say. 
If you’d let me, I’d like to say those things now:
Having Arthritis is scary.
Just walking into a doctor’s appointment is scary. 
“Is the doctor going to help me?” 
“Is he going to believe my pain is real?”
Being surrounded by patients 3-4x your age that are disfigured, crippled, wheelchair-bound, visibly in pain, thin, and who frankly -no offense- look like they’d be better off in heaven than suffering any longer… is saddening and traumatizing.
“Will I be wishing for death when I’m their age?”
“Will I even reach their age?” 
Again, Arthritis is scary

Even though I still wish I was the only girl in the world with RA, I’m eternally grateful for my #RASisters and my #RADudes.
For me, the Internet is all I have to communicate and connect with people like me and I wouldn’t trade that for anything! 
These men and women, young and old, EXTRA-ordinary people who fight an invisible pain 24 hours a day/7 days a week. Friends, who not only personally know every tear, every pain, every disappointment, but also have the heart to offer comfort and advice to someone else. Friends who are feel like they’ve been run over by a truck, but want to know how you’re doing. Friends who will find a remedy and immediately jump online to share it others.  

Friends, I can’t get over you. And yes, I thank the Internet for that. 
Thanks, for allowing me to make life-long relationships across space and time. 

Absolutely nothing can replace the feeling of relief brought on by a friend 
who reaches out at the exact moment you need it.

Meeting my Rheumy Friends for the first time. 🙂

Reconciliation Part 1

I’ve talked about my rocky relationship with my parents before. Especially when it concerns my Arthritis

I’ve written about the day I got my first cane and my dad’s harsh judgement. 
It’s been really hard, not having my parents’ support or understanding. 
It never made me angry with them. More sad, that they couldn’t be there for me. 
Well, last week my mom had major surgery. A hysterectomy to be exact. 
I knew before what a hysterectomy was, so when my mom called me to tell me she’d be going in for surgery in two days, I knew of the difficult recovery she’d have to face. 
So when she got released from the hospital after a couple days, I drove over to my parents’ house, prepared to take care of her. 
I know she wasn’t expecting it, but to be honest, I knew I’d do it even before she asked. 
Not because it was my job as her daughter– she hadn’t taken care of me when I needed it most. 
Not because she deserved it- because she defintely didn’t.
Not even because I wanted revenge or to make her feel guilty– show her what she could’ve, but didn’t do for me. 
I did it because it’s the right thing to do and I always knew if the roles were reversed- which they now were– I would take care of someone who needed help. 

I’m not a stranger to needing help. Not one bit.
I’m a disabled, sick girl with Rheumatoid Arthritis
There’s so many things I can’t do on my own. There’s so many things I need help with day in and day out. 
So when someone else needs help, when someone is sick. I know. I know the feeling
I know what it feels to be in pain. To not be able to do things you can normally do.
That’s why I did what I did. That’s why I chose to take care of my mother when she was in pain, unable to bend over, unable to take a shower or wash her hair, unable to cook or clean or drive to the pharmacy. 
I did it because I know how it feels and because I know how it feels, I knew I could help her.
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