I’ll never forget the time someone asked me why I let my life revolve around my Rheumatoid Arthritis.
I almost laughed, because the truth is, I don’t. In fact, I like to think that my RA revolves around me.. for the most part. So here I am, living life with RA following me around like a lost puppy:
Today, my thumb kills me every time I move it. For those of you who don’t know what that feels like, it feels like having to go through life with a workman’s clamp closed on your joint. At first, it’s not so bad, but after a few hours (or days), the joint is so swollen and red, it’s warm. Then it feels like I slammed a car door on my thumb. I notice it’s getting worse when I absentmindedly begin using my dominant hand less and less. But I do my best to continue my daily tasks, like stapling billing paperwork, for example. I consider going paperless to save my thumb…(Tonight I’ll search Amazon for an automatic stapler). As I drive to the Tag agency, my vision started to blur and my eyes grew heavy even though I woke up only 3 hours before. So I immediately detoured home to rest/replenish my “spoons” before continuing my day.
Two hours later, I set out again, driving coolly with my left hand at 12 o’clock on the wheel. I’m feeling confident again because today I put on makeup–which I usually only apply once or twice a week, but any day with makeup means no more “spoons” left for my hair. So I preplan to flat-iron my hair on Tuesday and put on makeup Wednesday. Thursday is a French-braided ‘do and by Friday, my hair will be dirty, but perfect for a slick-backed pony and light makeup again. High pain days means no hair & big sunglasses and I thank heaven beachy-messy waves are ‘in’ again.
I made seven stops total on my way to finish the errands and eagerly punch in every address (even though I know the way) to avoid Miami traffic and save my stiff hips from more abuse. I finally arrived back home after four hours and crash on the bed. Before my head hits the pillow, I text my husband, “I can’t cook tonight. Order in?” And the days go like this: If I was out all day, we order in. If I worked from home, I cook dinner.
So you see? How can self-care and careful “spoon” maintenance planning equate to my life revolving around RA? Just because I’m an advocate, just because I blog and I tweet does NOT mean I let my life revolve around my RA. I don’t let RA stop me, but we have agreed to slow down. The majority of the time, slowing down frustrates the heck out of me, but since slow is as fast as I can go, I will continue on–slow and steadily ahead.